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Make love when you still live with your parents
Fri, 21 Jan 2022 11:50:21 +0000

Later entry into working life, difficulties in finding a first job and finding accommodation on a tight budget… many young people today find themselves living with their parents. How can they have a fulfilling intimate life? Should parents accept that their teenagers or young adults have sex under their roof? Expert advice and advice from the pros.

“At the parents'” is at home too!

As Hugo Naudet, psychiatrist, reminds us: “Etymologically the family is those who live under the same roof and not the nuclear family as we understand it today. In human history, therefore, having sex in the home has only been a problem for 50 years. »

This is confirmed by Isabelle Maradan, a bubbly and very open mother: “As long as it’s not in the living room! I don’t see where the problem would be if it is done with the same discretion that we tried to have with them. With the parents, it’s with them too! Where else would they go? Apart from the car plan – you still need to have a license and live in the countryside – I don’t see well…”

Numerous parents share this position: sex is part of life such as eating, sleeping, or any other activity done at home naturally. They consider that their children have a sexuality at home, even before having sex. This is the intimacy of “home”, of their home in the house. It is not because sexuality opens up to the other that this should change.

Alix, 25, fully agrees: “It never bothered me to bring my little friends back to my parents, still happy! It might be hippie to say that, but for us sex is part of life just like food. As long as you drink in moderation, you’re fine. »

A default situation

All young people would undoubtedly prefer to have a home to copulate in peace, but in real life they don’t really have a choice. If they are still studying, they can’t afford much, and if they have a job but they still live with their parents, it’s not to pay for a hotel every time they want to hug each other. Let’s not forget that this generation is also very affected by the crisis.

“In fact, it’s a whole organization to frolic in peace. And sometimes it fails… Once, my brother showed up unexpectedly, he was coming home from college, he had forgotten his keys, he sounded like a madman. In full act, I was obliged to go open to him in a lamentable state, the loose hair and the babydoll upside down. In short, he grilled us. I was embarrassed,” says Sabine.

What Stuart confirms: “My mother didn’t like it at all. Suddenly, she kept breaking my plans and embarrassing me by shouting at me and inevitably, it broke the mood. »

The prohibition trap

As Hugo Naudet mentions:

“It is extremely illusory to think that we can prohibit or authorize sex in the home. And if the prohibition is exciting, the temptation will be all the stronger since sex is not tolerated at home. And then it would be quite unfair to prohibit sex at home for young people, since parents allow themselves to do so, right? »

There is the question : why could parents impose on their children something that they do not respect themselves? Moreover, it is not because we authorize that it will necessarily happen and even less that it will be the orgy every night.

A question of communication above all between parents and child

Our psychiatrist insists: “The refusal of dialogue is non-educational. What is important is to be able to talk about it between generations. Everything is played out in the relationships between them, in intergenerational transmission. »

In short, as with any other subject, dialogue and discussion are the basis of a successful education. “We are very open on the question with my parents, we talk about it with a lot of frankness”, affirms Alix who often shares her bed with her lover and even invites her to lunches with the family. Who said it was complicated?

The importance of age and the seriousness of the romantic relationship

However, the age parameter must be taken into account. Indeed, we recall: sexual majority in France, it’s 15 years. “I wanted to be in tune with the law, notes Cynthia, mother of a 17-year-old girl. I wouldn’t have tolerated it before 15 years, because I would have found it a little strange not to be a minimum match with the laws. »

That said, don’t worry, because, we also remind you: the average age at first sexual intercourse tends to rise rather than fall (he is now 16 years old). Young people make love later and less than their elders. Finally, parents prefer to see lovers than one-night stands. We understand them!

Sexuality of young people with parents: where, when, how?

To sum up, here is a note for young people with a few rules to follow.

Where to make love? In his room so as not to take the risk of being surprised.

When to make love? Ideally in the absence of the parents, again for avoid any unpleasant surprises. This means carefully studying their parents’ schedule: “At night, when you bring someone home, you have to get up quite late the next morning (or very early), eat your breakfast to check who is in the house and go back to bed to signal that the way is clear,” says Sabine, who was lucky enough to have an early-rising mother who often disappeared from the family home by 8:30 a.m.

Rather prefer the weekend and not too late: well yes, there is school / work during the week, right? And your parents have a life too.

With whom ? With lovers.his seriousness.his “I only brought home my regular friends. The one night stand, the only time it happened, my mother didn’t digest it. »

Comment ? In all discretion : show some decency to spare them a little. No one wants to hear your crap. So we don’t scream and we make ourselves small. To do this, Yann had developed a formidable technique: he put his mattress on the floor to avoid bed creaks that were as loud as they were annoying.

What if the parents don’t agree? There is always the boyfriend.girlfriend option and the policy of the ostrich: to act as if you were friends.ies. But frankly, it’s a bit like taking the parents for hams. And, as the idea is not to go to clash, we can only wish you to reach find a compromise with your parents or another place to love you.

As to parents, do not forget either that if there is a very intense and frequent relationship that your children have at home (and elsewhere for that matter), it is more with their mobile phone than with their lovers. It would therefore be a shame to deprive them of carnal relationships which they lack.

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How can prostate massage help prostate problems? – Aphrodite’s Smile
Wed, 19 Jan 2022 15:26:35 +0000

Prostatitis, prostate enlargement and, of course, prostate cancer, are the three most common problems that this important gland in the male reproductive system can cause, especially over the years. Do you know the prostate massage and its possible positive effects to keep it in an optimal state?

Let’s start by talking about the prostate gland. The prostate surrounds the tube that carries urine from the bladder to the outside of the body. Its main function is the production of part of the seminal flow, the liquid that contains the sperm.

The prostate of a healthy young man is about the size of a walnut and weighs about 20 grams. However, over time it slowly increases in size and over the years there is a greater chance of having prostate problems.


Of course, prostate cancer cannot be prevented, although an early diagnosis can be made. For this reason, it is very important to go to the urologist in case of any anomaly.

And it is that, for decades talking about prostate problems was a taboo subject. Now, prevention has increased and campaigns have increased to encourage men to go to the urologist and diagnose the problem properly. In addition to cancer (the most common tumor in Western men and the second leading cause of death), these are the main prostate problems:

Prostatitis: is inflammation of the prostate gland, usually caused by bacteria. On the other hand, there is chronic prostatitis characterized by localized pain in the perineum, suprapubic area and external genitalia. It can cause problems with urination and ejaculation. Prostate enlargement: its name is Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia (BPH). It is a common problem in adult men that causes dribbling after urination or the need to urinate frequently, especially at night. Prostate massage and how it can influence our health

Prostate massage describes the stimulation of the male prostate gland and can be done for both medical and sexual purposes. In Aphrodite’s smile, as always, in our quest to enjoy healthy and healthy sex, we have for some time now introduced a wide range of prostate massagers, geared towards your sexual facet: extremely intense pleasure and the possibility of experiencing multiple non-ejaculatory orgasms.

prostate stimulator

Sex toys used for prostate massage

But can this massage also benefit health? Beyond the pleasure and self-knowledge of those who use it? We have collected this information from the website of Aneros about its possible benefits, taking into account that it has been a very little explored field and, there is still much to know!

In this way, although it is true that there is still not much research on the positive effects of prostate massage, are many men have reported benefits and many doctors believe that health can be improved. These are the points that stand out:

Let’s start from the fact that massaging any part of the body increases blood flow, bringing oxygen to the cells. In prostate massage, when arousal also occurs, even more blood flow is generated. The prostate is made up of millions of microscopic fluid-producing glands and is susceptible to harboring bacteria. The fluid can even form stones in the prostate, similar to kidney stones. That’s why regular massage can help keep bacteria at bay. Some patients with BPH have reported that their symptoms have improved with regular prostate massage. Bacteria growing in the prostate can form a protective layer, which can be disturbed by prostate massage and thus weaken the bacteria’s protection. In prostatitis patients who are taking antibiotics, they indicate from the page, this kind of film can be eliminated, something that can increase the effectiveness of the medication, since it makes it easier for it to reach the infection.

As a last point, we remind you of the importance of self-knowledge of our anatomy, especially in a point as important and conflictive with age as the prostate. In this way, if you know the sensations of the prostate well, you are more likely to detect a possible problem. If so, we always insist on the need to go to the urologist so that he can help you with the precise treatment and rule out possible major problems.

At La Sonrisa de Afrodita we are clear that sex and health go hand in hand, so encourage yourself to take care of yourself and enjoy your body and your sexuality. Do you have any questions or something to contribute? Contact us, we will be happy to assist you!

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Male contraception ᐅ All means of contraception
Thu, 20 Jan 2022 11:44:45 +0000

Contraception, a woman’s affair? Not only: while they are only fertile a few days a month, certain means exist to stop the fertility of men 365 days a year…. Let’s discover them!

The means of contraception for men have existed for a long time: the condom was already used in the Roman era! Yet in many couples, once tested for STIs and STDs, the burden of contraception often falls to the women, ignoring the alternatives on the men’s side.

pill for men, heated contraceptive briefs… What are the means of contraception for men?

If the birth control pills for women has been marketed worldwide since the 1960s, the pill for men remains for the moment only a fantasy. In March 2019, researchers announced that they had successfully test a male pill… However, it is not yet possible to declare victory: it will probably be necessary to wait still years before the placing on the market of a pill for men.

So in the meantime, here are the various possible options for “contracepting” yourself when you have testicles:

the condom is the best-known contraceptive for men. It also allows to protect yourself from STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) and STIs (sexually transmitted infections) which is not the case with other methods of contraception for men.

the slip contraceptif Where heated briefs works on a mechanical thermal principle. It raises the testicles in a high position, causing a heating, which results in a drop in the number of sperm produced. For proper operation of the process, this device must be worn 15 hours per day minimum, for at least 3 months. Only then can you consider yourself on male contraception.

The hormonal contraceptive injections for men consist of a weekly injection, making contraception effective after 1 to 3 months. Unfortunately, only two doctors offer this solution in France.

The vasectomy, also known as permanent sterilization of man.

The withdrawal method should be avoided because of its 22% failure rate. This means that 22% of couples who use this technique for a year declare a pregnancy.

There also remains the solution of spermicide, in the form of contraceptive gel or a egg to be inserted deep in the vagina. This method also having a high failure rate, it is advisable to use it in conjunction with another solution such as a condom or diaphragm.

testimony of a man under contraception: Maxime and his Andro-Switch ring

the heated briefs is not the only means of contraception for men based on the principle mechanical thermal. L’Andro-Switch contraceptive ring, more recent, is its evolution.

It will also keep the testicles in a high position, warm, so as to weaken sperm production until the man is no longer fertile.

Maxime, its designer, says that he left control for his partners for a long time in matters of contraception:

“And then 4 years ago, my partner told me that she could no longer tolerate any contraception. We were interested in what we could do naturally on my side. That’s how I came across the thermal contraception, with the heated briefs. As the idea is to keep the testicles in a high position to succeed in contraception, I wondered if a ring would not be enough…”

He turns to a design office and ends up creating the Andro-Switch ring, made to measure and in silicone. A real success according to him:

“I admit that the first time I lifted my testicles, I wondered what I was doing. Culturally it is not valued… But less than two hours later, I had forgotten about it. There is no pain or discomfort! Moreover, today I regularly forget to remove it after my 15 hours daily. I sometimes wonder why this effective male contraceptive is not as banal as the condom ! »

Jeneveuxplusdecookies, another user of this ring testifies on his Instagram account:

“Up, I don’t feel anything. So nothing that comes to me the reflex to touch to check that the ring is well positioned, testicles included. And every time it does!
I take this opportunity to slip in something… We are talking about a contraceptive method without side effects, 37 € for life (or 74 € if you take two, which is better if you lose one), without hormones & natural ! It’s still crazy isn’t it? »

However, if these numerous means of contraception for men exist, their deployment is often found limited by society.

means of contraception for men, their limits and the mental load

And Maxime maintains that his Andro-Switch ring has been liberating for his partners, he also knows that the sacred vision of sperm and male fertility prevents some of its congeners from taking the plunge.

The deployment of many birth control methods for women for decades, and lack of communication about contraceptive methods for men interrogates. Why does the mental burden of contraception most generally fall on women? Why despite changes in society about sexism, equality in the couple, this subject remains forgotten?

Some then speak of the painfulness of solutions such as the Andro-Switch ring or even contraceptive injections. Others will tell them that a woman on the pill must think about it every day, and another with an intrauterine device must wear it in her uterus for years.

Noémie, who follows Dans Ma Culotte on Instagram, raises another point: she is not against the principle of male contraception, but she does not wish to rely on it in her current situation.

“My boyfriend is rather airheaded and I don’t want to take any risks. I am someone who likes to control everything in my life.
Actually for me it’s not about gender, but more about personality or reliable option available. »

Finally, as often, the best solution for everyone remains to be open to discussion and listening to your partner 🙂

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Should you talk to your kids about masturbation?
Fri, 21 Jan 2022 11:46:01 +0000

Masturbation is natural in humans, the fetus already does it in its mother’s womb! Babies and then children play with their sex, with a naturalness that adults do not share. They don’t always know how to react to masturbation. So what to say to a child who caresses himself? Some age-appropriate advice.

A baby sometimes discovers his genitals by chance and he plays with them from time to time because he tends to repeat what he finds pleasant. Then, the young child explores his body out of curiosity and he can discover pleasant sensations by caressing himself. Some even do it before naps or at night because it relaxes them.

Parents are often at a loss when faced with this behavior, which is nothing to worry about. In the youngest, it is enough to withdraw the hand gently and to create a diversion. We avoid slaps on the hand, “it’s dirty” or other negative comments… The ideal is even to take the opportunity to do some sex education and explain to him that he is touching his penis ( or her vulva) but it’s time to sit down to eat, read a book, etc.

From the age of 3 or 5, the parents can explain simply and without irritation, that he must do it in his room, in private, because it is intimate and that concerns only him. Anyway, from the age of 6, the child becomes more modest of himself. The attitude to banish is to scold him, to tell him that “it’s not good” and to make him feel guilty: it “demonizes” sexuality. And of course, we avoid making fun of him, saying nonsense (like “if you continue, he will fall”) or punishing him…

Sex education, to start as soon as possible!

A sexual education consists in laying down a healthy framework, bordering on sexuality. The first step is to approach the genitals with simplicity: children are taught the different parts of the body but sex often goes down the drain! Might as well take the opportunity to name the penis, the testicles, the vulva and the clitoris (they are often curious about this and expect answers, which many parents do not dare to do). Some parents feel embarrassed to do so, but talking naturally about these “things” is important to teach the child about his anatomy, which is nothing to be ashamed of. This is an opportunity to convey key messages: respect your body and have it respected (others don’t have to touch your private organs). For those who do not feel able to approach the subject, there are very well done books, which can serve as support such as “How to talk about sexuality to children” by Anne Vaisman or the work of Jocelyne Robert, “My sexuality from 6 to 9 years old”.

A few scenarios require vigilance: if it interferes with the child’s activities, if he isolates himself from his friends to masturbate, if there is irritation in the sex area indicating excessive masturbation ( we can then explain to him to take care of his body, including his private parts), or if he continues to caress himself in public, when we have already explained to him to do so in private. It is therefore advisable to speak to a doctor. A general practitioner, a pediatrician or a child psychiatrist may have a less “emotional” opinion than that of the parents.

Also on The HuffPost:

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The best sex for all
Fri, 21 Jan 2022 11:32:12 +0000

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Sex came naturally, but it’s not innate. You have to learn, experience and explore sexuality before it can become good. When you start a romantic relationship, sexuality is relatively simple, fun and fluid. We can quickly feel connected with the other and we experience an intense “rush” of physical sensation. The novelty is everywhere and we discover the other with each sexual relationship we have with this person. It takes little effort to feel sexually aroused and the desire seems to come spontaneously and frequently.

So why is it not lasting in long-term relationships? For what reasons does sexuality seem more difficult to start and feel sexual desire for one’s partner as time progresses? Sexual routine, redundancy, predictability of sexual intercourse, recurring and unresolved conflicts are often the culprits in this story.

The mountain of sex and its summit

We can compare the sexuality of a couple to a mountain to explore. At the beginning, we discover it and we are at the bottom of Mt. There are plenty of trails to discover, some seem easier than others and some seem impossible to overcome. The avenues you choose to explore at the start of a relationship are usually the easiest. Each track represents a part of you and your partner. Some are differences and conflicts to come, which we avoid at the beginning of the relationship. We only reveal what we are ready to make known to the other. We want to avoid rejection, so we don’t dare to make ourselves known, especially in terms of sexuality.

We often tend to always explore the same avenues in our sexuality. We do things that are familiar and where we feel safe. On the other hand, hiking on the same trail or having sex in the same way always brings us to the same point. We end up getting tired of it over time. This is where the sexual difficulties begin. It is more difficult to feel sexual desire to do the same thing again, so we are less excited which creates impatience, frustrations and displeasure during sex.

Wanting is power

On the other hand, exploring other avenues in sexuality comes with these pitfalls. One has to explore parts of the mountain (of oneself and the other) that are going to be difficult to overcome. We no longer feel the security we had before, because we find ourselves in unknown areas that have never been explored. You have to learn new ways of being and push your limits in your sexuality. Unfortunately, many couples don’t want to put in that effort to reach the top of their (sexual) mountain.

“Experiencing discomfort and sexuality usually don’t mix well for good sex. It’s true, but nothing in life is really worth it if you don’t put your mind to it and you don’t dare to exceed our comfort zone. Tolerate the discomfort of exploring one’s sexual self

Sometimes we can even have difficulty in coming to terms with our sexual self. We limit ourselves in our sexual behavior due to our sexual education which has instilled negative messages. We adhere to these values ​​without questioning them, which harms our sexual evolution (exploring the dark side of your mountain). Couples often tell me that what’s going on in their head is more exciting than what’s going on in their bed, but don’t dare share it with their lover. When I ask the question “why can’t the two be more similar”: they often fear the reaction of the spouse or judge themselves on their sexual preferences.

Do you dare to fully discover your sexuality?

Experiencing discomfort and sexuality usually don’t mix well for good sex. It’s true, but nothing in life is really worth it if we don’t put our minds to it and we don’t dare to go beyond our comfort zone. Gathering courage and climbing the more strenuous and risky (sexual) mountain tracks will give us a better view and a better knowledge of our partner, as well as of ourselves.

“It is important here not to lose your integrity, but to dare to explore spheres of sexuality that previously made you uncomfortable.”

If you want sex to be easy and effortless, that’s your choice. On the other hand, you will only see the bottom of the mountain and stay there. You are never going to reach your full sexual potential or see the peak with all that entails. #unemauditebellevue

Concretely, what should we do to reach the top?

Life as a couple has become difficult, especially if we add children to the formula. However, this is not impossible. First, you have to prioritize the relationship and sexuality as well as develop your sexual creativity. You must tolerate revealing more about your sexuality with your partner and have the perseverance to continue despite difficulties and failures.

Try new ways to seduce your partner and initiate sex Experiment with various attitudes during sex: sexy, humorous, dirty, in love, etc. If you tend to be sweet, affectionate, and tender, try a more naughty, fierce, etc. sexuality. The reverse is also true. Open the lights and your eyes Look your partner in the eye for a long time Focus on connecting with your lover and not just having an orgasm swap Have fun rather than just getting excited and doing sexual techniques Talk about your fantasies Be spontaneous and try to surprise the other (It’s difficult, but not impossible) Increasing your intimacy has been awkward

Eh yes! Sex in adulthood is not always fun and you will sometimes have to relive the same discomfort you felt before and during your first sexual encounters as a teenager. You know, that feeling of being incompetent and uncomfortable in front of the other. Remember the first time you were naked in front of another person, performing oral sex or performing cunnilingus. Were you confident? Probably not! You also remember that you overcame these discomforts and began to feel more comfortable over time. So now is the time to do the same with your eroticism and your sensuality. You will have to redefine your sexual self and your sexual preferences. It is important here not to lose your integrity, but to dare to explore spheres of sexuality that previously made you uncomfortable.

Learn to manage your discomfort

Time and experimentation often lessens this feeling of being sexually incompetent and pleasure eventually enters the equation. Once again, it is not a question here of not respecting or forcing oneself for the other, but really of questioning the blockages at our own pleasure. Getting to know yourself and getting to know yourself sexually is a process that can be laborious and brings up emotions that are difficult to manage. On the other hand, just like the metaphor of the mountain, taking the trouble to overcome the obstacles on our way allows us toREACH NEW HEIGHTS that we have never before imagined.

Francois Renaud MA Sexologist psychotherapist Montreal

Specializes in couples therapy

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Horny girlfriends, sex and the wonderful world of PAF
Thu, 20 Jan 2022 11:43:17 +0000

Our columnist Bob Howard was to receive a book called “Camille” (surprising, isn’t it?), but the channels of the press services being impenetrable, it was “Sex and the TV” that landed in his mailbox. Not letting himself be put off, Bob tasted it and gave us his culinary chronicle.

The title of this novel, by its analogy with the famous TV series “Sex in the city”, already lays the narrative foundations: a bunch of cheeky girlfriends, sex and the wonderful world of paf. The cover and its fourth sound “girly” but from “girly with a rabbit”, we are warned the sex scenes are “real” sex scenes. Of the chick-lit but not for a girl.

creamy romance

The previous adventures of Charlotte (the heroine), Deborah and Morgane were a success if I believe what the publisher (La Musardine) says. Octavie Delvaux therefore resumes her characters for a second season.

The story ? A young woman, Charlotte, Emeritus Cordon Bleu, has made a name for herself with her blog (see the tome 1 : Sex in the kitchen, which does not seem very hygienic to me). She then becomes a columnist in a program ofaccess prime-time. She’s going to have to make her place there (I dare not say her hole, the main purpose of this note is to make Camille laugh and, by the way, you too reader / reader) in the middle of the intrigues and other blows under the belt including a particularly rich one that will force our heroine and her friends to unite to save her honor and her budding career.

This novel baffled me a bit: I felt like I was tasting a big, mouth-watering cupcake, with flashy icing mixing zesty flavors of ginger, fun touches of citrus, and slightly thick layers of marshmallow.

Let’s start with the ginger, the sex scenes are from true sex scenes. Octavie Delvaux does not simper: we penetrate, we lick, we suck, we whip and we get whipped, we jerk off and we jerk off, we put on and get put on in joy and good humor, without taboos. bdsm, candaulism, swinging, lesbianism (no male homosexual practices but the heroine evokes an episode of the previous novel where she offered her lover this discovery) but without any vulgarity. And that’s a real pleasure, nothing gritty, sticky, Octavie Delvaux leads these coitus with skill.

But, because there is always a “but”, the vocabulary, the semantics, the images used sometimes seemed to me a little cliché : “the burning center of his anatomy”, “secret and unprecedented pleasures”, “She was rarely as excited as when she played sluts in front of her darling”, “She felt like she was swimming in a sea of ​​vice and bottomless pleasure.”, “Feeling his erection dug into her chasms of desire”, etc.

Erotic, romantic, homoristic

The words to describe sex are always difficult to find and handle: go browse the 50 shades of Gray to understand what eroticism is with an anemic style, it’s brutal. Octavie Delvaux, she stumbles a little but we must admit that she is doing quite well in the end; especially in the final erotic scene, the cliché scene par excellence: a fine sand beach under the moon and a couple of lovers. The author dynamites the scene (and a taboo) with the help of a string of which I will let you discover all the salt.

This 312-page novel is also a story in which the sexual, sentimental and professional stories of a group of very free friends intertwine, with a lot of humor. I’m thinking of Déborah, the dominatrix in love who doubts her vocation, allowing O.Delvaux to deliver some scathing and very amusing scenes. Some of these scenes are “censored”, but the author offers them to us on his blog.

Humor is very present in this book and it is a strong point of the narration. We laugh, we stay light and we have fun. The author even places here and there a few portraits or scenes that are as sharp as Charlotte’s kitchen knives.

The back cover stamps the novel as an “erotic and romantic comedy”. I can only confirm, but romanticism has often seemed to me artificial and a bit “cucul la praline”. Maybe it’s the side chick-lit who doesn’t come to me. Nevertheless my annoyance was only temporary, because overall I liked this book. It surprised me because I discovered a type of erotic story that I probably wouldn’t have read spontaneously. It’s a happy coincidence that caused this little spicy pastry to fail under my taste buds as readers of bad genres.

Sex and the TV is not a major book of eroticism but it is well written, sometimes surprising and we take pleasure in reading the sex stories of this group of girls. And it’s very good like that.

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Misconception “I no longer have a libido because I’m tired” – Le Blog Sexologue
Fri, 21 Jan 2022 11:54:18 +0000

Eleanor does not think never to sex. She has had no libido for a little over a year. Because she is tired.

Her work fascinates her. She loves playing with her children and doing activities with them. Her husband, Thomas, is very in love with her and help as much as possible in daily tasks. Eleanor also loves him very much in return. So it’s a couple very welded.

They are very tender towards each other. They hold hands in the street, kiss each other’s lips whenever they get the chance, and hug each other every day to cuddle. Since they met, it’s been obvious to her: Thomas is her great love.

The last time they made love she took an amazing foot. It’s a good memory that’s starting to fade because it was a long time ago three months. Luckily that day he had insisted that they have sex. It’s true that they had gone on a romantic weekend without the children. It was by the sea with a pleasant warmth in the evening, the restaurant he had chosen was delicious.

So when it’s time to go to bed he had expressed his desire grabbing her waist and pulling her pelvis towards him. Oh! She got it right away! But the weekends are for resting because she is so tired…

He had to negotiate and get even a little angry for them to make love. It’s true that before that they hadn’t done it Since six months. Time passes so fast.

So it’s been three months already. She remembers this memory because she knows that tonight he will still attempt an approach. He takes his shower to smell good, he’s going to give her a massage like every Saturday. It’s a little ritual with them. Then he will probably start to caress her sensually to initiate a sexual relationship. But, tonight she is really too tired.

It’s starting to piss him off besides that he raises it constantly. He doesn’t understand that when she gets a break, when she’s more rested, then she’ll want to make love.

So she has everything planned for this Saturday night. She removed her makeup in a hurry so that there are still a few traces left. She put on her most covering and ugliest pajamas so as not to let no ambiguity on his intention to sleep.

Thomas enters the room naked. He is already half erect. Oh misery! It’s going to be more complicated than expected because He looks so motivated there!

He immediately sees her almost hidden under the sheets. She has her eyes closed.

“Well, don’t you want your massage?” he asks surprised.

– No, tonight I want to sleep. »

Thomas does not disassemble: “Let me wake you up a bit…” He said passing his hand under the sheet.

Shit! That is what I thought he is very excited tonight, thought Eleanor. So she contracts her thighs and wraps her arms around her chest. Her husband insists: “Remember the last time we had fun..”

Suddenly, a flash of disgust runs through her entire body as he touches her thigh. It explodes: “Damn it, let me go! Can’t you see that I can’t stand you touching me!!! »

Thomas is speechless. Because it is the first time that his wife told him that.

Eleanor softens in a few seconds and says to him as sincerely as possible: “It’s because I’m tired…”

Lack of libido leading cause of consultation among women

The absence of sexual desire is therefore the reason for which women most often come to see me. The problem is that in general they decide to consult when they are under pressure. That is to say that their relationship begins to suffer.

Most often it is because arguments about the lack of sex become very frequent or that the man has had an extramarital relationship.

It is therefore frequently that I receive these women after several years of lack of libido. Which has ruined their lives all this time.

A lack of awareness

When I ask them about the cause of their lack of libido, the answer is often: ” Because I am tired “. If not, they will tend to blame their partner: “He doesn’t know how to deal with me” or “He asks me too often”.

So there’s a very simple way to know if the partner is involved. Or if fatigue prevents you from making love. lay down two questions : after a long period without sex, do you:

I feel the need to masturbate? Am I starting to desire other men? (without necessarily taking action)

If both answers are “no” then the partner is not in question nor fatigue. Nor any other excuses. If now there is at least one “yes” then the partner is part of the problem.

Indeed, sexual desire is motivation to make love. And why do you want to make love? What motivates you enough to trigger actions to have sex? It’s your own pleasure!

Not your partner’s.

So if your sexuality is good but it is parasitized by fatigue or a man who is not attractive enough, your libido will make you feel a lack. Which will therefore result in a need for sexuality: masturbation or desire for other men.

My wife is very into sex. Unfortunately it’s not on mine.

Pierre Desproges

Because you will want to feel this pleasure that you miss so much. And that is the definition of libido.

A clear objective to be defined above all

When a woman lacks sexual desire, it is therefore most of the time that she has lost her libido, her interest in sex. Or that she never built it.

She will often find excuses because she imagines that “Sex is natural”. As if the interest in sex was going to fall on the corner of his face one fine spring day.

Nothing could be further from the truth!

Sexuality is a learning. To learn more about the subject, I recommend that you read: “The secret of a sexuality at the top”.

So we have two basic pieces of information: sex can be learned and the libido is for oneself.

Then another problem arises. Because the objective of a woman who lacks libido is very often: “I want to have desire to please my partner”.

If we start with this objective, it’s guaranteed failure because the desire arises from your own motivation to make love. Therefore the right goal is :

“I want to discover or rediscover my sexuality to please myself first and possibly give it to my partner”.

Sexological techniques work very well to reach this goal. But you will have understood that it requires daily exercises (about 5 minutes) and motivation.

If you want to know more about the female sexual pleasure I recommend this article: Received idea “A woman has more pleasure with a man who knows how to give it”.

Share This article! ‘Cause I feel you got a desire burning to do so. 😉

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Misconception “I no longer have a libido because I’m tired” – Le Blog Sexologue

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Feminismo, machismo, hembrismo y sexología – Club de Malasmadres
Wed, 19 Jan 2022 15:12:15 +0000

El término feminismo ha levantado pasiones encontradas en los últimos años y muchas personas no han entendido o querido entender lo que abandera el término y lo que persigue que no es otra cosa que la igualdad de derechos entre hombres y mujeres. Hoy nuestra colaboradora Arancha Gómez se adentra en este mundo de términos en su terreno el de la sexología y pone luz sobre el tema.

* Podéis seguirla en @atajou y en la web de Sexorum.

Ya has tenido bronca otra vez con tu cuñado a cuenta del día de la mujer, la huelga feminista y las manifestaciones que hubo en diferentes ciudades españolas. Tenerla con tu cuñado es relativamente fácil, porque él es el cuñado “perfecto”, pero esta vez te has quedado boquiabierta con su:

– Ni machista, ni feminista. Yo sólo soy persona.

Y no se te ha ocurrido ni qué responderle del estado de consternación en que te has quedado.

Hay que dejar claro para empezar que lo contrario del machismo, no es el feminismo. El machismo es una actitud de prepotencia de los hombres hacia las mujeres y lo contrario sería el hembrismo que es una actitud de desprecio hacia los hombres

Según el diccionario de la lengua española de la RAE, la definición de feminismo es:

m. Principio de igualdad de derechos de la mujer y el hombre.

Según esta definición decir: “yo no soy feminista” estaría al mismo nivel que decir: “yo soy racista”. No se puede no ser feminista a estas alturas de la historia. Es impensable que alguien en el siglo XXI piense que los derechos del hombre y la mujer no deban ser los mismos.

¿Y entonces, por qué tanta inquina al feminismo?

El diccionario de la RAE viene en nuestra ayuda de nuevo porque la segunda definición del feminismo es:

m. Movimiento que lucha por la realización efectiva en todos los órdenes del feminismo.

Y ahí es donde abrimos la caja de Pandora. Y es que el feminismo es uno y múltiple. Uno si nos fijamos en la primera definición del diccionario y múltiple porque hay varias corrientes que buscan esa igualdad de derechos de la mujer y el hombre, cada una a su manera y recorriendo diferentes caminos, y todos ellos son “feminismos”.

El origen del feminismo está en la Revolución Francesa, como explicó Maite Egoscozabal en este artículo y continuó con las sufragistas. Es Simone de Beauvoir quién da voz a este movimiento tras la segunda guerra mundial con su “Segundo Sexo” y a partir de aquí surgen varias corrientes.

En un paseo rápido encontramos: el feminismo liberal con Betty Friedan; el feminismo radical que busca la raíz del problema de la desigualdad social y lo encuentra en el patriarcado; el feminismo materialista que asegura que el patriarcado tiene además una base económica en el sistema de explotación doméstica; el feminismo cultural que tiene como base teórica la “cultura femenina”; el feminismo lesbiano que encuentra que el lesbianismo es la única forma de “librarse del varón opresor”; el ecofeminismo que une pacifismo, feminismo y ecología; el feminismo de la diferencia que asegura que la diferencia sexual es liberadora para la mujer; el feminismo de la igualdad que propone establecer un nuevo contrato social….

Como veis hay disparidad de criterios y opiniones y encuentro perfectamente razonable que no nos sintamos identificadas con algunas de ellas, pero lo que sí debe unirnos es esa primera definición: igualdad de derechos entre mujeres y hombres. Y yo añadiría además “igualdad de oportunidades”.

Hemos avanzado mucho en los últimos 40-50 años. Mi madre para poder abrir su negocio necesitó el permiso por escrito de mi abuelo. Ahora, afortunadamente, ya no es necesario, como tampoco lo es para abrir una cuenta bancaria o sacar dinero, pero aún estamos lejos de que las oportunidades para ambos sexos sean las mismas. Ideas sobre cómo llevar a cabo esta igualdad habrá mil y seguramente algunas serán contrarias a las otras, pero de lo que no hay duda es que aún debemos seguir trabajando para que la igualdad de derechos y oportunidades sea real y efectiva para hombres y mujeres. Y, aquí, quiero añadir algunas aportaciones sexológicas que creo que pueden resultar útiles:

Los hombres y las mujeres son diferentes en múltiples planos, lo que no significa que unos sean inferiores a otras o viceversa, precisamente sus diferencias son lo que pueden compartir y en ellas está la auténtica riqueza.

No se trata de una lucha de mujeres contra hombres, se trata de una lucha contra un sistema que está mal organizado y que desfavorece a las mujeres, pero que también obliga a los hombres a asumir roles que a lo mejor no son los que desean. No hay víctimas y opresores, aquí tod@s estamos jugando papeles que no hemos elegido.

En este tema, como en otros muchos, hay que hacer un trabajo interno para encontrar lo que genuinamente deseamos cad@ un@ y dejar un lado las luchas de poder para conseguir alcanzar esos deseos en la medida de lo posible.


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Feminismo, machismo, hembrismo y sexología – Club de Malasmadres

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News from our digital Tool Sheets
Fri, 21 Jan 2022 11:43:23 +0000

We have had a lot of positive feedback following the launch of our digital tool-sheets around female sexuality and it really warms our hearts!

“The diagrams are an added value. These sheets are useful as teaching tools.

Dr Pierre Bondil, uro-onco-sexologist, President of the Post-University Interdisciplinary Association of Sexology (AIUS)

News from our digital Tool Sheets

“Very relevant sheets, well done, simple and educational: excellent tool for consultation”

Dr André Corman, sexologist and andrologist, director of sexology teaching at the Toulouse III Faculty of Medicine

1642765386 567 News from our digital Tool Sheets

“Brief sheets that get to the point. The graphics are clear and helpful. I think I can use some of it in my practice”

André Letzel, Sexologist Marriage and family counselor

“Clear illustrations, practical and easily accessible information, ergonomic site. »​

Dr Françoise Jastrowicz, General practitioner

“Lots of diagrams that can be easily used during consultations, practical 3D vision on certain chapters.
Clear and simple explanations, easy to follow for patients. »

Véronique Dugras, Midwife​

News from our digital male tool sheets

“Great tool for all healthcare professionals! All female sexual disorders at a glance ;)”

Matthieu Tison, Sexologist

We have been attentive to all your comments, and one of the most frequent requests was to be able to use the tool sheets without going through a computer or a tablet.

This is why we now offer a printable pdf version in A4 format of our tool sheets!

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Here are some testimonials from caregivers who use our tool sheets:

If you haven’t bought them yet, go quickly to this address:

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Limited time special discount!

To celebrate the launch of the printable version of our Digital Tool Sheets on female sexuality, we are offering you until August 11, 2021 at midnight a exceptional reduction of -30%, that is 47.00€ instead of 67.00€ using the following promo code (to be entered at checkout):

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100% money back guarantee

No need to fear: if you are not satisfied with your purchase, you have 30 days to be reimbursed on simple request by email.

Stay informed about sexual health

Thank you for reading this article to the end!
Since you seem interested in the subject, we invite you to receive our e-book “What is a sexologist? “, for :

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What to expect and why STD testing is important for your health
Wed, 19 Jan 2022 15:10:20 +0000

Chlamydia, gonorrhea, HPV, HIV, crabs… oh my! If you were already afraid of hospitals and visits to the doctor, making an appointment to get tested for STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) can be scary on all levels. As if waiting for the results wasn’t stressful enough, you’re forced to change into a paper hospital gown and sit in a sterile white room, surrounded by shiny medical instruments, until the fateful moment when the nurse walks in and begins to ask you several super personal questions… But if you’re having sex, it’s highly recommended that you get these tests done.

First things first, what is the difference between STIs and STDs?

Excellent question! STI is short for sexually transmitted infections, while ETS stands for sexually transmitted diseases (also known as venereal). Although these terms are used interchangeably and refer to the same thing, keep in mind that not all infections become diseases. This is for example, not all women who contract the human papillomavirus (HPV) will develop cervical cancer. Whatever you call it, a checkup is important whether you have symptoms or not.

But is there anything worse than spending the afternoon in a waiting room?

If you imagine an entire day surrounded by prehistoric gynecological instruments and huge needles, you are confusing your family planning clinic with a house of terror. Basic tests for STDs, while uncomfortable, are routine and usually painless. You will probably spend more time in the waiting room than you will actually need to do all the tests. In fact, this will be one of the easiest days you’ll ever spend at the doctor and one of the best self-care practices you can do for your sexual health.

Prevention and early treatment, with the help of medical care, is the only way we can have and enjoy sex in the safest way possible. Spreading a potentially dangerous disease to sexual partners you don’t know, and postponing treatment for a generally curable infection, which could cause long-term health effects, makes no sense. But even with these reasons, there are a series of myths that stop us from taking the step:

Myth #1: I don’t need to get tested. Everything is fine “down there”.

There are enough statistics on STDs to write a thesis, but there is one you need to know to convince yourself that testing is absolutely necessary. Most STDs have zero symptoms, including those that can lead to serious health problems like infertility and pelvic inflammatory disease. You won’t wake up with sores on your genitals the morning after you get an infection. Your body may not send signals or symptoms may show up long after you’ve had sex with someone else. Even the nastiest diseases, like chlamydia and gonorrhea, can creep into your body without showing any noticeable pain or discomfort.

Conclusion? Yes, get tested.

Myth #2: Medical tests? Oh, that has to hurt!

There are many medical tests that are no doubt painful, but a basic STD screening routine, if anything, will be nothing but uncomfortable. Most STDs can be found through a urine sample or a quick finger prick to obtain a few drops of blood. They may also swab the inside of your cheeks to collect saliva. In the worst case, you will undergo the typical gynecological examination with your legs in stirrups, in which samples will be taken by rubbing with a swab (cotton swab) of the areas that could be infected, such as the cervix, vaginal walls or the vulva.

If you have noticed sores in or around your genital area, they will be cleaned with a swab, and transferred to a glass slide to be viewed under a microscope. And if necessary, you and your doctor could discuss additional tests. The best thing about this is that most sexually transmitted infections, like chlamydia and trichomoniasis, are curable if caught early. And those that aren’t, like hepatitis B and herpes, can be dramatically reduced and brought under control with prompt medical attention before they get out of control.

Myth #3: I’ve never talked to a doctor about my sex life before, shame on me!

Even if you’ve never had a conversation with your GP about your sex life, believe us, they’re scared to death they’ve spoken in detail with other sexually active patients before. Your doctor has been trained to perform all kinds of tests and answer any questions. And when it comes to health and proper body care, every patient is equally important. Leaving key details out of the conversation jeopardizes a correct diagnosis and can lead to the wrong treatment or medication.

Without the proper medications to combat your specific sexually transmitted disease, you could pass the infection on to your sexual partner or suffer further harmful effects on your body. If you’re still too embarrassed to talk to your regular doctor, visit a specialist family planning clinic, where most doctors and nurses test for STDs daily (and often for free).

These medically educated individuals solve sexual health issues for a living and take pride in creating a non-judgmental environment. They will guide you through your appointment from start to finish and ensure your comfort every step of the way!

Please note that the advice offered by Intimina may not be appropriate for your particular case. Always consult your doctor if you have specific concerns related to your health.

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What to expect and why STD testing is important for your health

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